Ramblings about health, dogs, and other randomness

January 2018 Highs and Lows

HighHiking in Arizona : This was such an appropriate start to the new year and reminder of how far I’ve come in recovery. Check out the link for more!

Low: Family illness: Fortunately all is well, but some family matters drew my mom away from our Arizona trip early and we have spent a lot of time in prayer and hope.

High: Enjoying a normal birthday dinner for a change: My eating disorder has taken so much from me and my loved ones over the years. I frequently think of previous occasions involving food and cringe at my actions or response. While I know I can’t go back and change how I’ve behaved in the past, I do know that I can start now to change how I act in the future. My birthday was a great example of the relationship with food I am working to have—a pleasurable, shared, delicious experience with loved ones. Cheers to yummy pizza and tasty meals to come!

Low: My mom being away: My mom is a nurturer. So loving, vivacious, kind, and appreciated by all. She needed to be elsewhere for a bit, and I am so glad that she went-I would not have wanted her anywhere else. That being said, I had some lower moments while she was gone.

High: Getting Hope: I don’t even think this needs additional explanation. She has added so much to my life already. 

Low: Hope chewing up the blinds in my parents’ basement-My dad wasn’t too pleased, but as my mom said, “she’s a puppy!”

High: Having energy and my mom telling me that she hasn’t seen me this “full of light and joy” since before I started high school- It’s amazing how much better I feel, but it’s also so wonderful to hear that my mom can see it. Watching me struggle with my eating disorder has been very difficult for her, and she is gaining hope and optimism watching me heal.

Low: Hope peeing all over the backseat of my car- Again, “she’s a puppy”

High: Going on walks with Hope- I love having a walking buddy 🙂

Low: Having an eating disorder moment involving cheese and turkey burgers in Arizona- fortunately, these moments are becoming less frequent in my recovery. I think it’s important to still acknowledge that they happen and that my recovery is far from perfect. I’m fortunate to have come this far in a short period, but I still need to work to prevent that mean voice that is not my own from getting ANY oxygen. I’ll get there!

High: hitting multiple eating disorder goals and having my physician tell me he is satisfied with my progress- this makes me so happy. That much closer to manifesting the life that I want for myself 🙂

 

What were your January 2018 highs and lows?



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